I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hippo gnu deer
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
