True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
