do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
