Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
