whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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