sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
