let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
