Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
