We won't sleep together?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am available for nakedness
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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