I hate your face
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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