U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize