I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
