if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
