Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
