Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
