I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
