The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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