i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
