went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
