They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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