Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am mentally ready for anal.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
