i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
