My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
