Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
