I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
