U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
