we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
