ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
