It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
