Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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