At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
