I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
