Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
