I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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