What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
