does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
