Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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