singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
