Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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