i used baking grease as lip gloss
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize