grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
