That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
