How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
