it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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