She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
