Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
