hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
