Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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