So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How external is "for external use only"?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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