i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
