Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize