I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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