I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
