how can u be prego again
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
