batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
