If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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