Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
