matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Please don't give away my fajitas
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Congratulations! We have a period
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
