What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So many bounce houses so little time
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
