so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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