There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
